The Lobster Dance

This post is an entry in the December 2011 J Festa “Christmas in Japan,” hosted at japingu.

Being in Japan for the holidays means that I can choose my own holiday music if I feel like listening to it. Even though the stores are all playing Christmas Muzak, Japan’s retailers seem to work from a more limited playlist than the US and even have some of the Santa-oriented songs in Japanese, which means I don’t feel encounter these songs often.

A lot of songs that get played around the holidays are meant to make listeners think about peace on earth and goodwill toward others, but how many make you think about your sexual health? For that, there is “Little Taiko Boy.”

Image from "Little Taiko Boy" by All Out Attack Films.

On the official youtube page for All Out Attack Films, the project is described as follows:

Little Taiko Boy’s soundtrack is a safer-sex parody of the American Christmas carol “The Little Drummer Boy” interspersed with the slow rumble of a traditional Japanese taiko drum that sounds like a massive throbbing heart beat. Against this backdrop, several men meet in [Ni-Chome, Shinjuku,] Tokyo’s bathhouses, love hotels and cruising spots for intimate encounters, watched over by a glamorous drag version of Amaterasu Omikami, the Shinto goddess of the Sun played by Japanese activist and artist MADAME BONJOUR JOHNJ. Like a queer Santa Claus, the goddess leaves each couple a condom in a bejeweled wrapper as a gift and blessing for the night.

Any video that contains the phrase “like a queer Santa Claus” deserves a watch, don’t you think? This video, embedded below, is not safe for work for partial nudity and language.

Christmas Eve in Japan is one of the most romantic date dates of the year, perhaps even more so than Valentine’s Day, which is more about giving out “obligation chocolates” (giri-choco, 義理チョコ) at work (and friend-chocolate to our friends). I imagine Ni-Chome, which is a district composed mostly of gay bars (read: most-major-iterations-of-Queer bars, adult stores, etc.) is hopping with couples on December 24, so the video is a nice inclusion of Christmas-Eve dates that won’t be targeted in hotel- and restaurant campaigns.

However, the true genius of the video isn’t Drag!Amaterasu or the editing, it’s in the mind worm the song creates. The first time I saw this, I thought, “Well, that was sort of strange” and went about my business. Later that week, “Little Drummer Boy” was playing at a grocery store. I was half-listening as I browsed the spice rack when I found myself mentally singing along, “It’s so much safer to come in a condom….” I actually cannot listen to “Little Drummer Boy” without a mental reminder to practice safer sex. Bryan Jackson and Dickie Greenleaf, you are clever, clever people.

More “Let’s Merry!”
Introduction
Food/Drink: Cookie Tea